"Life" after Death | |||||||||||||||||||
| Surviving after the death of a spouse | |||||||||||||||||||
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One of the most devastating emotional trips in my life was to wake up from the shock of my Husbands death and realize that I was suddenly all alone. My soul mate, my best friend, my confidant, the person who knew me more intimately than anyone could, knew my inner most fears and was my constant companion for so many years was no longer there by my side. There are so many of us out there who have had to learn to go on alone and face the trials and tribulations of trying to forge out a new life. My hopes in establishing this Web Page was to find new friends to share a smile, a tear and hopefully a few stories and poems. In doing so maybe we can help someone who is just starting on this part of their life. I myself had a hard time pulling myself out into the world and being with other people, doing things without my "Tiny" by my side. I slowly ventured out and met new people and tried doing things by myself, it was then that I discovered that I was not alone. I had an Angel on my shoulder and his name was Tiny. When I attempted to do things that he had always done for me and managed to do it right, I would hear this whisper in my ear, "Good job Mama, I'm proud of you". A feeling of peace comes over me and I feel encouraged to go out there and tackle another job, just so I can hear him say again, "Good job Mama, I am proud of you". My Husband left behind a poem he wanted me to share with family and friends after his passing and I would like to share it with you. I am not sure of the title and the author is unknown. Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the mornings hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry: I am not there. I did not die. | ||||||||||||||||||
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My tale of woe about my first outing as a single into social life. A friend encouraged me to go to a Senior Center Dance, assuring me that there would be many singles there. Upon my arrival at the dance I discovered the singles included approximately 30 women, one single man and a married man a roaming. After an hour of sitting with no askers, I told my friend I had decided to ask the married man to dance (as the single one was very busy). Having always been told what a great dancer I am, imagine my shock when the genteleman(?) after about 10 steps informed me that I was a lousy dancer and he had no intentions of ever dancing with me again. While trying to figure how to get out of this gracefully all hopes of that left me when the elastic in my half slip broke allowing it to fall down around my ankles, beating a hasty retreat to the restroom, I threw away the slip and regained my composure. During the drive home I let my anger vent to my Husband who had the nerve to leave me and putting me in this situation. I have since forgiven him and have become a small social butterfly. Share your stories and poems with me and let me pass them on the readers of my page. There will be more to come as I venture on this path. I have been on this trail for almost 5 years now and I am sure there are many more good and not so good times to come. | ||||||||||||||||||
| From my mail | |||||||||||||||||||
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I received this letter from someone and would like to share. Hi, I just wanted you to know that you too are not alone. My husband passed away 10 years ago at the age of 44 from cancer. He left behind an only son who was 18 months old. I am now 52 and my son is now 11 and I have had to raise him alone. Because of the suddeness of John's death he left no insurance so it has been years of struggle and sacrafice, but also of laughter for the wonderful memories he left behind but most of all for the greatest gift of all our son. It is hard, but there is joy to be found. In the meantime know that someone else knows and understands your journey. | ||||||||||||||||||
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